Burt

Sure he's a bee rapist, but he makes a killing selling useless honey-smelling stuff.  His products aren't even effective, people just love dumping cash at the register at Whole Foods. They're already spending $200 on Gruyere and almonds, why not drop another $20 on a waxy lip balm and an issue of Yoga Journal?  Burt's lip balm is genius: it's one of those products that makes people think they're being environmentally conscious even though it's not even remotely the case (You know, like tote bags people keep manufacturing that say "go green!").  Taking advantage of hippies is an American past-time and Burt makes millions doing it.  He doesn't even bother shaving for photo shoots. And why shouldn't he phone it in?  The "Old Man and the Sea" look is working.  

NOTE: While I would love to Be Burt, I would never want to be Tom of Maine.  That guy probably smells like an abandoned barn.